Wendy Paige Sterling

Sales means building relationships with clients and helping them arrive at the right decisions.

In this episode, I am joined by Nicole Cramer, a Sales Conversation Coach and an Exactly What to Say™ Certified Guide, to delve into maximizing sales success by tapping into intentional pauses and staying in integrity to serve and help.

As salespeople, it’s not our job to tell our clients what to do. Instead, we provide them the space to make aligned, educated choices and hold their vision for them.

I encourage you to stay curious and welcome your clients to express their experiences. This can make or break their desire to invest in you. If they know that someone is giving them time to think, their “no” can just be a “not right now”.

Moments of silence can be uncomfortable but they hold more power than you would imagine.

Tune in to this week’s episode of The Power In The Pause: How to Maximize Sales Success Through Harnessing Pauses with Nicole Cramer.

Enjoy this episode? Don’t forget to leave a five-star review!


 I always say no means not now. Yes. No, it’s just right now. That’s exactly it. Keep them in your world. Keep them in your circle. Keep the dialogue. Keep the conversation going. Serve them where they are, because they will come to a place where you can continue to serve them as they evolve in what they Want to invest in.

Have you ever wondered how to harness the transformative power of life’s pauses, how to unlock your true potential, create a profound impact and manifest the life, you know, you deserve. Welcome to the power in the pause podcast, the show where we explore the incredible potential that lies within life’s pivotal moments.

I’m your host. Paige Sterling, and my mission is to guide you through these transformative pauses so that you can embrace your true self and make a lasting impact in the world. As a dedicated, intuitive coach of personal growth and empowerment, I’ve spent years helping individuals navigate life’s transitions, such as divorce, grief, and career shifts.

and awaken their inner strength through this podcast. I’ll be your guide sharing insights, stories of resilience and practical tools to help you thrive during life’s pauses. The power and the pause podcast isn’t just about me. It’s about the incredible journey we’ll embark upon together. So join my community of listeners who believe in the extraordinary extraordinary possibilities that these moments offer.

Thank you for joining me and together, we’re going to learn to embrace the power within life’s pauses, prioritize your wellbeing, and unlock the incredible transformations that await you. I’m Wendy Page Sterling and your host, and I can’t wait to explore this exciting path of. Self discovery and empowerment with you.

Hello everybody. And welcome to another episode of the power in the pause podcast. Thank you guys so much for being here today. And as a reminder, Don’t forget to hit subscribe so that you do not miss a single episode that comes out every single week. And I would be so appreciative if you would please leave a five star rating and a review so that more people can find this podcast.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So I’m excited that you guys have tuned into today’s episode where I’m joined by Nicole Kramer. Hello, Nicole. How are you? I’m excellent, Wendy. Thank you for having me. Of course. I am really looking forward to our conversation today about how it is that you can maximize your sales success through harnessing pauses.

But before we dive in, I want to share a little bit more about you with our audience today. So our guest, Nicole is a sales conversation coach, and she is known for merging a human connection and psychology with sales strategy. As an exactly what to say certified guide, she’s passionate about helping women enhance their ability to influence the outcome of their business.

Of their sales conversations. In addition to running retreats and coaching programs for women, entrepreneurs, Nicole supports teams and corporate sales professionals with increasing conversions through curiosity and human connection, transforming sales into the art of communication. I love that and I absolutely adore you.

You guys, Nicole and I talked for like an hour before we actually hit the record button, just chatting away, totally losing track of time. Um, so I’m really excited for us to continue to talk about this topic because it’s something that I’m really passionate about. So, Nicole, if you could share with our audience, you know, what is inspired you to do this work.

And I know that you transitioned from one career into this. So what keeps you motivated every day to do this?

So many things, starting with an experience that I had, you know, I wanted to go into sales and I wanted to do something different. And I’d been a high school math teacher for 15 years. And I think a lot of people want to help.

people in whatever their business is, right? Whether you’re selling a service or a product, it’s because you want to help people. But so often people are afraid to ask, right? And if you don’t ask, you don’t get like, that’s the, the motto of sales. And I, when I was a math teacher, I had also become a health coach and I knew so many health coaches who were not helping people, even though they had a gift, even though they were certified, even though that they had learned all these things that could definitely change someone’s life, they weren’t helping anyone.

And. Every time I asked, it was because they didn’t know how to sell. They didn’t feel comfortable selling. And when I was still a math teacher, I knew I wanted to go into sales. I interviewed for a sales job, my very first interview. And I was so nervous that the guy was going to say to me, you’re just a teacher.

You don’t have sales experience. Because I knew you needed experience to get the job, right? Well, he said exactly that at the end of the interview. And, you know, I am pleasantly surprised you knocked this out of the park, but I’m going to have a hard time hiring you over the 89 internal people who want this position because you’ve never sold anything.

Your resume just says teacher. And I said, well, I sold math to teenagers for 15 years and nobody wanted to buy that. That’s brilliant. Thank you. And it did not, I was, it was not planned. It came through me. Thank you God for delivering that line to me in that moment, because what it did for me in that moment, Wendy, is it got me onto the next round.

Cause the guy looked at me, he goes, Whoa, that was good. You’re good. He goes, you know what? Will you go on a ride along with one of my guys? I said, absolutely. He said, will you make a 30, 60, 90 day business plan? I said, yeah, you betcha. And I walk out of there and I call my friend who got me the interview. I said, what the hell is a 30, 60, 90 day business plan?

But I’m onto the next round, right? And in that moment, like I said, it served the purpose of moving me onto the next round, which was a big win. Since then, what it has done for me time and time again is reinforce the fact that we are all salespeople. We are all in the business of selling something. And in my mind at that time, I still thought sales was a transaction.

Sales is not a transaction. It’s a relationship. The transaction just happens to be a by product of the fact that you’ve helped someone arrive at a decision that they want help with something. And they’ve identified that you’re the person that can help them. And for me to understand that at that level, and then to see so many people who have an ability to help people who aren’t helping them, I thought, how can I bridge this gap?

Because by God, if I can go after 15 years of being a high school teacher and go into the corporate world and become number one in the, in sales and my company. Then other people can do it, and I want to show them how. And it bothered me that so many people were sitting around on their certifications not doing anything.

And so I started helping health and wellness coaches. That’s how it started for me because I knew so many of them because I was one. And then it turned into a lot of different industries. And really at the heart of it, it’s always been about helping women. Two, because I want women to understand their power and I want them to understand that it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been or that you don’t have experience.

This is something that’s available for you. It’s here for you and it doesn’t need to be too fancy. It really is about building relationships with people and helping them solve their problems.

Yeah, I love that. And popping out of the ad sales world and corporate America for 20 years, I don’t think I fully understood that, um, until probably the last couple of years of my job.

But ultimately once I left and became an entrepreneur, um, and I remember even being in that world, like anytime there was silence, I would get uncomfortable. But as you know, you know, when there’s moments of silence, right. Or as I call moments of pause, um, they’re actually powerful moments. So how does. The pause, right?

Intentional pauses contribute to being able to build stronger relationships with clients when you are engaged in a sales type conversation.

Yeah, I love this because I think, especially from a corporate background that you and I both have, I don’t know that we’re always allowed to have the pause and what I mean by that, there’s such a target on our back.

There’s such, it’s all about the activity. It’s all about the go, go, go. It’s all about the ABC, always be closing. And there’s this push. And listen, I did things my way, I still figured out how to do things my way. It wasn’t always, uh, you know, it didn’t always go over well in my corporate job, but it made me super successful when I just stuck to my own, you know, integrity of things and did things my way.

And what I’ve learned and what I teach now, and that I’m so happy to be out of corporate and not have that, that pressure is when you slow things down, it speeds them up. When you slow things down, it makes it not about you. Because by the way, the sale is not about you anyways. And what we’re really doing is helping someone arrive at a decision that they already wanted to make, and that they knew on some level that they needed to make, but maybe they were having a little bit of troublemaking, but it’s still not your.

Job to tell them what to do because nobody wants to be told what to do. So when we’re willing to slow it down and stay curious and ask good questions that allow someone else to hear their context, in addition to us hearing it, when they hear it, it helps them realize, whoa, I do need to do something about this.

This is a problem worth my attention. This is a problem that I actually want to take action on for us to hear that context. It helps us. Relate to them and understand them better. And sales is all about trust. People buy from people they know, like, and trust. And you can’t develop trust overnight. You have to develop it over time.

So that pause, that slowing down is what truly allows someone to learn to trust you and feel connected to you. And if you take the time to stay curious and you gather context, And you now can relate to them and say, I know you, I get you, I see you. I’ve been, you, I understand you. I’ve helped people like you, whatever it is that you can say, you’re hitting the show me that you know me button.

Now, all of a sudden, you’re not giving advice. You’re not saying, I think you should do this. You’re saying, because of the fact that you said, I would recommend you look in this direction. Now, you’re just making recommendations based on what somebody else said. And you’re allowing them to feel like it’s their decision because it is.

It is. So that’s all we’re doing. We are professional mind maker uppers when we’re helping someone arrive at a decision to improve their life in the way that we are able to help them do that.

I love how you position that. It’s so powerful and it makes it sound so easy. So what are some other techniques or strategies that you have seen be effective in helping people pause, um, in those conversations?

Well, a couple of things. First of all, the person in control of the conversation is the person asking the questions. Right. So when we’re asking questions, that’s the pause, because what we’re actually doing is giving somebody the opportunity to share. And our role in that moment is to listen because the share is quite often what actually shifts their perspective.

And I’ll share a quick story with you years and years ago. Um, I was on the phone with who was about to be my first business coach. And it was a sales call and I had signed up for it because I just knew on some level that she was something that I needed in my life. I’d been flopping around like a fish out of water, trying to figure out how to start my own business.

And I started it, but knew I needed some help. And so I get on this call with her and for about 20 minutes, she asks me a bunch of questions. And as I’m sharing, I’m like, yeah, I don’t know how to do this. Yeah. I haven’t been able to figure it out. Yeah. I do want more clients. Yeah. I want to know this. Yeah.

I want to, and I can’t do this and I can’t do that for 20 minutes. I shared why I had not made any progress towards the direction that I wanted to go in. And. You know, through a series of additional questions, we arrived at the fact that what she offered might very well be the exact thing that I needed.

And then she told me the price and I balked a little bit because I was like, okay, I got to make an estimate. This feels like a lot of money. And because she stayed curious, Because she paused, because she asked me questions, because she allowed me to share where I was. She had the courage to ask me this next question.

She said, I’m curious, Nicole, are you more committed to your dreams or your comfort zone? She had every right to ask me that question because I had just spent 20 minutes of my life telling her all the reasons why I hadn’t been able to figure it out, and now I’m at the point where I’m about to say, no, no, thank you.

I don’t need this. Then what? Right. She had the courage to ask that question because she had allowed me to kind of pour out and realize, and when she asked me that question, I thought, Oh my god, she’s right. This sounds so stupid. I’m talking Here’s what I said to her about five minutes before she said that.

I said, I will do anything to make this happen. Nobody can argue with their own words. I said the words and when she asked me are you committed to your dream or your comfort zone, she also wasn’t pushing me. She was asking legit, like where do you want to stay where you are or do you want to do something?

And it would feel really dumb in that moment if I said, let me stay in my comfort zone. So the person asking the questions is in control of the conversation. And the other thing that’s really important is the worst time to think about what you’re going to say is the moment you’re saying it. So let’s not just jump into a conversation and think we’re going to come up with all the right questions at all the right times.

So can you prepare some really good questions that allow you to be curious and allow the other person to really come into the understanding of what they need? And when we’re doing those things, we are actually in service to the other person because we’re allowing them to step into the idea that it is their decision.

Our job is not to give them their answers. Our job is to ask the questions that allow them to arrive at those answers. And when we’re willing to stay curious, when we’re willing to pause. We are slowing it down and it 100 percent speeds it up.

Yeah. So it’s so true. And you even bring up something really important.

And that is like, I, I find, and I know that with a lot of my clients, when they are having sales conversations to enroll, um, you know, potential new clients that so many times I get caught up in the other person’s objections. And I think that you, um, You, you know, you even admitted like you got caught up, you were in objection mode and you got asked a question that kind of shifted you out of that.

But what are some other ways that you can help somebody who’s like, Oh, but like, you know, how do I, you know, what are some other ways that I can overcome common objections that people will say? Of course, time and money seem to be the two most popular, right? But how can people address these concerns from the lens of curiosity when Like, let’s say it’s not money.

Let’s say it’s a time constraint.

Well, one of the things I think we have to remember is if we want to have the ability to shift someone else’s perspective, then we have to stay open to the idea that ours can be shifted. And one of the things I want to invite everyone to do is understand that an objection is probably not what you’re thinking about that it is right now.

An objection is a buying signal, right? So let’s just get clear first and foremost, if somebody gives you an objection, if they really didn’t want it. They would say, no, I don’t want it. And let me give you a really silly example, but I always think that this really emphasizes the point. Wendy, if you were to look at me and say, Hey, Nick, I’m going to take this pen and stab you in the eye with it.

I wouldn’t say, do you think it’s going to hurt Wendy? I don’t know. I don’t know if I have time to go to the hospital today. It’s, it’s just really not, it’s not going to fit in my schedule right now. I’ve got too much going on. Do you think it’s going to bleed a lot? I don’t know. Like, I don’t know if I have the money to pay for the hospital, but I would not ask any of those questions.

I’d say. I don’t want you to stab me in the eye with the, it’s, that’s not right for me, right? And we’re all adults. We can advocate for ourselves. If it really, really isn’t the right fit, then somebody can say, this isn’t right. But if they’re giving you objections, what that is, is it’s a request for more information.

It’s a, I’m interested, but there’s something that I’m still missing. There’s some piece that I don’t quite yet feel. And here’s a three step dance that I want everybody to think about. Curiosity. Is something I already mentioned. Curiosity leads to empathy, which is also something that I’ve already mentioned.

And when you take the time to stay curious and you build empathy and you truly understand the other person, then you have the courage to ask those tough questions. And if you ask a tough question and it’s a swing and a miss. Then you’re on to curiosity again. It’s just a repeat, right? You go through that.

Yes, that’s exact. I call it the trust triangle, curiosity, empathy, courage, curiosity, empathy, courage. So if you’ve gotten to a place where you’ve both kind of arrived at the idea in a conversation, the idea that this is something that somebody wants, and then they’re going to put up the objection of time.

How can we put our curiosity hat back on? Not our, oh, but you have time. You said that this is something you really want. Well, let me tell you, the fastest way to create friction is to tell somebody what you think that they need. Let’s help them arrive at what they think that they need. Right? And so in that moment, it’s like, okay, if we have an objection, how do I get curious again?

And I think sometimes we can get a little bit like it’s an objection and I’ve got to overcome it. And I’ve got to know the right thing to say. Sometimes there’s a really great question that you can ask that would help somebody in that moment, shift their perspective. But sometimes you have to go back to what they said that was important to them.

And that means getting curious again. Right. And so if somebody has an objection, it’s like, how do I get curious? How do I put my hat on? How do I ask more questions? And here’s something I want everybody to hear loud and clear. Your job as a salesperson is to help someone make a decision. You are a professional mind maker upper.

A decision could be no, a decision could be yes. And where a lot of people go wrong is they think that no is the enemy of yes. No is not the enemy of yes. No is a beautiful gift for both of you. Yes is a beautiful gift for both of you. Because whether it’s yes or no, if you’ve helped someone arrive at the decision that’s best for them, the decision that’s best for them is the decision that’s best for all.

You don’t want to pull somebody over the line that really doesn’t want to be there. Talk about a really challenging container that you’re putting somebody in.

Well, and you’re setting yourself up for that much, I mean, I can’t tell you how many times when you are convincing and pulling someone over the line, like how much work they wind up being as clients and nine times out of 10, they leave or you fire them as a client.

That’s it. A yes. That wasn’t a true. Yes. That wasn’t a hundred percent. Can I say that word? Fuck yes. Yes is not a yes that you want because that’s exactly what it’s going to be. It’s going to turn into resentment. It’s going to turn into challenges. It’s going to turn into poor reviews for you. It’s not going to turn into them sharing with the world like you don’t want to.

Yes, that’s not a 100%. Yes. So your job is to stay with them in that pause to help them decide. Is this a true? Yes. And people do need help making decisions because change is hard. Change is hard for all of us. And so sometimes it’s like, I want to say yes, but I’m afraid. And what I always tell people, let me just share one of the things that you can say.

Um, listen, I like to call it out. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. So if somebody’s like, I don’t know, and they’re kind of hesitating and they’re hemming and hawing, I’ll say, Hey, I’m hearing that there’s a version of you that really does want to do this. And I’m hearing that there’s a version of you that’s a little hesitant.

Which version of you would you like me to support right now? I’m not here to talk you into anything, but I’m going to call out where we’re at, where we’re at in the conversation is you shared X, Y, and Z are things that you know that you really want to work on. Right. And if you’ve taken the time to pause and pull all that information out, then you’ve got that information when it’s important towards the end, or you might say, Hey, this sounds like it might not be the right time for you.

I’m hearing some hesitation and I’m hearing some, you know, concern about whether or not this is right for you. Is there anything that, here’s what I’ve asked before, is there a reason why you’re not just saying no? I’m all about honesty. I’m all about, let’s just get it out there. I’m not here to talk you into anything that you don’t want to do.

I’m here to help you make a decision that’s best for you. And if no is, is the right decision for you right now, let’s make sure that it’s a no. I, no matter what, by the end of our conversation, want to leave you better off than you were when we started this conversation. And the only way I can leave you better off is if I’m committed to serving you.

And what that looks like is helping you arrive at, is this right for you now or is this not? And I’m not attached to either one of those. I’m attached to helping you arrive at the best decision for you. And I’ll pre frame that at the beginning of the conversation because I’m not here to talk anybody into anything.

But I also would be remiss if I didn’t help someone say the answer that they really want to say. And who am I to be their coach or to, to do anything for them if I can’t help them in that moment make that decision? And so sometimes we, we need to read our audience and we need to know, is this something that you really want to say yes to?

And if so, How can I support you in doing that?

Before we continue with today’s episode, let’s take a moment to reflect on what we’ve discussed so far, we’ve explored the transformative potential of life’s pauses and the importance of embracing them to unlock your true potential. Remember these moments of reflection and growth. Our stepping stones towards creating that intuitively designed life that you desire.

So in this moment, let’s take an opportunity to pause, breathe, and consider how you can apply what you’ve learned so far to your own journey. Now let’s dive back into our conversation where I will continue to explore the power within life’s pauses and how they can guide you towards a life filled with purpose and authenticity.

Well, so let me ask you this. So, so many of us get into, um, you know, that mindset or that place where we’re like, I got to make income. I’ve got to hit my numbers this month. I need to get clients, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? And so, Everybody creates kind of like this urgency within themselves of, you know, I got, I got to close the sale.

I have how many sales calls this week. I need to close X number of people. Like I’ve got to bring revenue in. So how would you recommend that somebody sort of strike this balance between creating a sense of urgency, right. In closing sales, right. But also Recognizing that the energy of urgency is kind of the opposite of like being in the pause.

So how, like what are some techniques or how can people kind of, you know, when they find themselves kind of amped up in urgency, take a breath and, and get back into that, that pause moment to be able to really reground themselves in, in what they’re there to serve their clients Well, I think

Yeah. No, I think this is a great question because first of all, we’re being salesy in that moment because we’re making it about us.

Right. Right. If this is about, I need this sale for me, then you’re not actually, you’re not going because I have a lot of clients that come to me and they’re like, but I need this sale. So are you willing to be out of integrity with what this person might need? Just to serve your own interests. Cause by the way, nobody is your source.

Nobody is your source. Money does not come from people. It comes through people. God is your source. So ultimately we can’t look at any one person to be the reason that we are or are not going to be able to make payroll. That probably means you need a lot more opportunities in your pipeline that you haven’t taken the time to create, right?

If we were to go fully back, you need more opportunities. You’re putting too much pressure on one or two opportunities. That means you haven’t created enough for yourself. So that’s what I would say from a sales coach perspective. How can you put more opportunities in front of you so that you’re not putting that pressure on anyone, nor on yourself for that one thing to have to be a yes.

Um, I think that that’s super important in and of itself, because I know a lot of people don’t create enough opportunities for themselves. And then they’re looking to one or two people to actually be the yes. And that puts a lot of wonky pressure on a lot of people for the wrong reasons. Yes. I would say, where are you?

in a position to ask more questions to more people who can create more opportunities for you, instead of just putting all of that pressure in that moment on that one person to say yes, because that’s about you. That’s about your agenda. That’s not you actually serving someone or saying, Hey, I’m here to help you.

And I mean, at the end of the day, If you need to make money and you need to make payroll, what other ways could you bring some money into your world that would be a little bit easier than trying to put pressure on somebody to say yes, that might not actually want to say yes, or might not be the right opportunity for them.

And you know, I, I don’t want to speak for everybody. I mean, everybody’s in a different position, but if that’s your case, number one, as a business owner, go create more opportunities for yourself. And if you need to go find a way to make some money, that’s easy. That’s not putting pressure on somebody. Um, to do something that really isn’t right for them.

Yeah. And I also feel like there’s so much talk out there right now where it’s like, you’ve got to close them on the first sales call, like one call closing. Right. And I don’t, I’m so glad you’re shaking your head because I, it really drives me crazy because I feel like that is forcing people’s hand. I feel like it’s forcing people out of the decision making process that’s comfortable for them.

Now, don’t get me wrong. You need to make a decision, right? But sometimes it takes people more than one call. So what are some examples that you have witnessed or seen, or your clients have experienced where when they, when you equate a pause to a second sales call, um, how that has significantly impacted in a positive way, an outcome with a sale.

You know, I can think of a time a few years ago, um, a woman who was really excited. She’d been on a bunch of my webinars and a bunch of my live, um, you know, presentations and was really loving it. And she signed up for a sales call and she’d never hired a coach before. So it was a little bit of new territory for her.

And. you know, we got to the end. She, everybody who gets on a call with me knows the investment before they get on the call. So it wasn’t like a surprise, but we got to the end and she was really nervous to make the decision. And I said, listen, I feel like this might not be the right time for you because I want people who, when they’re stepping in, they are like ready to go.

They know this was the right decision. And I respect that this might not be right for you right now, but you know, where I am, I’m not going anywhere. And you know, why don’t you hang around in my world? I’ve got all kinds of free resources and see what you can do with that. And that was in August of that year.

And by October, by the way, she attended every live that I did after that, because I, I always like to serve people wherever they’re at. I’ve got all kinds of pieces, right? If this is not the right time for you to invest, and you’re telling me money is the issue, how open minded are you about making a commitment if it were free?

And a lot of times they’re like, well, if it’s free, I’ll make a commitment. Great. I’ve got hundreds of videos. Where would you like to start? Right? And if they’re still showing up, and, and they’re willing to make that commitment, even without paying the money, to me that says a lot. And so she stayed in my world, she was still attending all of my live presentations, and she signed up for another call in October.

She said, I think it’s, I think the time is now. And when she got on that call, she said, first of all, you’ll appreciate this because of our conversation earlier, Wendy. My dog, had been on a lot of the lives with me and she had a dog that was very similar to mine. So she got on the call. She said, first of all, I was won over by your dog.

So I’m just going to tell you, I love you and I love everything you’re sharing. And I also love your dog, um, which I think Cassie is the best salesperson I have. She’s made a lot of sales for me without realizing it. But she said, I really want you to know that I appreciate that you did not pressure me.

The first time we had a conversation. And as a matter of fact, you gave me a bunch of free stuff. And what I now know for sure is I didn’t make anything of myself with that free stuff. And it led me to understand that I do want your support. And I do want the accountability. And I appreciate that you gave me that space to arrive at that decision, more or less is what she said.

So to me, it was like, it always serves, uh, the conversation that you have today may not pay today, but it will still pay.

I always say no means, sorry, I was going to say, I always say no means not now. Yes. No is just not right now. That’s exactly it. Keep them in your world. Keep them in your circle. Keep the dialogue.

Keep the conversation going. Serve them where they are because they will come to a place where you can continue to serve them as they evolve in what they do. Want to invest in down the line. It happens all the time. People follow me for months, sometimes at least a year

before they commit. One of my, um, highest paying private clients.

And I say this because I was willing to sell her a package that was about half of what she actually looked at me. And she said, can I do more than that? But that conversation that we were in took a year and a half. For us to get to, she found out about me from a friend who had worked with me. She entered my world.

She was in my community and attended all my lives. And, you know, I once upon a time said, Hey, let’s connect. And, you know, I’d love to get to know you better, but it wasn’t like a sales call and we connected and she was nice. And she said, Hey, I know someday I’m going to want to work with you. It was about a year and a half later that I was on a live.

And I said something about book a call. I have three spots available this week. And she said, I’m in, I want to book a call with you. And we got on the call and. She said, I’ve been in your world for a year and a half. I am more than 100 percent sure that I meant to work with you. So when we allow somebody to arrive at that decision on their own, the no isn’t no, it’s just, I don’t.

fully trust you yet or fully know you yet or fully understand what the opportunity is here for me yet. And when we allow somebody to feel into that on their own. Talk about a powerful client. Talk about a powerful opportunity for someone to step into your world. Now they are 100 percent sure they want to be there.

That’s a different level of work. That’s a different level of transformation. That’s a different level of results mission accomplished for what you’re all about. Helping people. You’re helping somebody who really wants the help. And let me tell you, as a 15 year high school math teacher, I am very clear how important buy in is to the process.

And when you’ve allowed someone that opportunity to fully buy in on their own, that’s powerful. And that’s what I mean about, it’s not like I waited for a year and a half for this woman to come back into my world. I had other clients, I had other opportunities, I had other webinars and masterclasses that I was throwing to attract, you know, cause at any given point, people are now soon or later buyers.

Yeah, they’re out buyer. They’re a soon buyer or they’re a later buyer. And if they’re in your world on some level, I think this is where people miss a lot. They’re like, she’s just been watching all my free stuff. Oh, you mean trading her most valuable resource that she has on this planet to consume your stuff?

You mean she’s been paying you with her time and attention and that’s a bad thing? You mean you’re mad about that? Because by the way, if she never pays you a cent, weren’t you about helping people to begin with? Can’t you have different things at different categories in your world that can serve people at every level so that you’re not resentful and angry if they don’t ever pay you?

What’s the free stuff for anyways? Is it just a contrived way for, no, it’s to serve people at whatever level they’re at. And if they keep consuming your stuff and they really learned to know you, like you and trust you through consuming it. And that leads them to the sale. Isn’t that the whole point? Or if it doesn’t lead them to the sale, aren’t you here to help people?

If somebody can go watch all my free stuff and make something of it. Good rates because there are plenty of people who can’t go do it on their own and they will want to pay me. And when I trust into that abundance, when I trust into the fact that there are 8 billion people on this planet and I don’t need all 8 billion or even 1 billion or even 100 million of them to pay me to do this work, as a matter of fact, I need a very, very, very.

people for me to make a good living out of this, then I can be okay with the fact and not be stuck in lack and scarcity and, and resentment of like, they’re watching my free stuff and they’re not paying me. Then what are you all about? What are you all about? Why’d you create the free stuff anyway? So to me, it’s like, how can we allow people to arrive at that decision and know our audience well enough that there is a time and a place to put pressure on someone.

That same woman who came to me a year and a half later, she said, I know 100 percent that you’re the person for me. I know I want to do this. She still balked at the end of that conversation. She still said, I don’t know, this feels like a lot of money. Let me just go back real quick from a sales coach teaching perspective.

Earlier on in that conversation, I had asked her to tell me about a time when she had realized that there was something that she really wanted and what she did to make that happen. Now this is early on in the conversation when we haven’t got to the point of asking her to make a decision. She said to me, I know I really want this.

I said, great, what did you do the last time that you really wanted something in your life? This is just me being curious. This is just me gathering context. This is me understanding. If you’re telling me you really want something, tell me about how that worked out for you the last time you really wanted something.

And she said, well, when I decide that I want to do something, I always figure out a way to do it and the money always shows up. She said that to me very early in the conversation. So when we get to the end of the conversation, she said, I know I really want to do this. I know that this is something I need.

It just feels like a lot of money right now. It might not be the right time. I said, I’m curious. Can I ask you something? She said, yeah. I said, do you really want this? She was, yes, I know. I really want this. I really, really do. I said, okay, well, earlier in the conversation, you told me when you decide something is what you really want, that you figure it out and the money always shows up.

I guess I’m just curious how this would be any different. I didn’t say, Oh, come on. You can figure this out. Oh, come on. I just said, you told your words, your words. Nobody can argue with their words. And she just, here’s your pause, Wendy. I said, how would this be any different? And then I just sat there. I wasn’t taunting her.

I wasn’t pressuring her. I was just. Legit curious. I’m confused. You told me when you want something, it always works out. You told me you really want this. How would this be different? And she sat there and she sat there, which we know the pause in a sales conversation feels like it’s ages, right? Like 800 minutes have gone by.

And she looked at me and she said, let’s do this. That was powerful. I didn’t pull her over the line. I didn’t create friction and say, you can figure this out. And do you really want, I just asked her a question based on her words, but that wouldn’t have been possible had I not gained some context earlier in the conversation.

That’s why we want to really stay curious and understand where they’re at because nobody wants to buy your coaching services. Nobody wants to buy your product. Nobody wants to buy your service. Nobody wants to buy your anything. They want to buy it. Because they want to buy it because nobody wants to buy a mattress.

They want to buy a mattress because nobody wants to buy a drill. They want to buy a drill because nobody wants to buy a coaching package. They want to buy a coaching package because, and if you don’t pause and stay curious and slow things down and find out that because then you’re making it about you there, because is the reason that they will hand you their credit card and say yes, and move forward with you.

And if you don’t take the time to discover that, because. then you’re not really in service to the other person and you’re trying to convince them. You’re embellishing yes. You’re trying to make the yes look good. You don’t have to make the yes look good. If you found out, find out their why, if you understand their because, That’s

their reason.

So powerful, Nicole, and such a great example. And it just speaks to how, you know, so many times we get, we feel uncomfortable when there’s a pause, but that’s so many times, that’s just what the other person needs. It’s just a minute to think and being give, it’s a gift to give the other person. A second to think through something to think through the answer to a question.

And I have learned so much. I’ve taken so many notes from our conversation today as well, because you’ve had some really great mic drop one liners, um, and just some really great advice. Nicole, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with everybody today. And I want to make sure that everybody can find you.

And I know that you have a freebie. to offer everybody today as well. So I would love for you to share both of those things, please.

Yeah, definitely. So the freebie that I want to give to everybody is something I call my discovery call template. And what I did is put in a rough template and I say rough because everybody’s going to develop their own style.

But this is really an outline of what you need to include in any discovery call that you have with someone so that you’re covering all the bases so that you are pulling out that context. And I would love to share that with everybody because I took what I did, what made me successful in corporate sales and as a business owner and put it together in this template.

So, um, that’s going to be in the show notes. And then I love to connect with everyone and I’m on Instagram. So please send me a DM. I have some other resources that I would love to share. So if you send me a DM on Instagram and you let me know where you’re struggling, I will be happy to give you a video or a template or something else that will help you, um, with where you’re at right now.

I appreciate that, Nicole, you guys, and all of her contact information can be found in the show notes, all the links, all the good stuff. Nicole, absolutely love you, adore you. I think you’re brilliant and I’m so grateful for you being on my show and, uh, I’d like to call you a friend as well. So thank you so much for being here.

Thank you. You are wonderful. It takes one to know one. So thank you so much. You’re so welcome. And you guys, I hope that you enjoyed Nicole and my conversation today. You know that with every single episode, I am striving to help you see how much power there is in the pause. So thank you for tuning in this week.

Don’t forget to also follow me on Instagram. My handle is at Wendy page Sterling sending you all so much love and light. I will see you guys in the next episode. Bye everybody.

Thank you so much for being a part of our journey. Your quest to embrace life’s transformative pauses and unlock your true potential is a powerful one. My podcast here is to support you on this journey and guide you towards creating an intuitively designed life. Transcribed Stay connected for upcoming episodes where I will continue to explore self discovery and empowerment.

And if you found today’s episode valuable, please leave a review and share this podcast with other people. Remember your life. These pauses hold incredible potential. Embrace them, prioritize your wellbeing, and believe in your transformation that awaits you. Until next time, keep discovering the power within you, and let’s create your intuitively designed life together.

I’m Wendy Page Sterling, and I look forward to our next empowering conversation.

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